Memory worries and dementia: where to turn

It is natural to worry when you notice your memory is not quite what it was, or when you see changes in someone you love. Please try not to jump to the worst conclusion, though, because memory problems have many causes, and there is a great deal of help and support whatever turns out to lie behind them. This page explains what to do if you are worried about your memory, and where to turn for support with dementia, both for the person affected and for their family.

Memory problems are not always dementia

It is worth knowing that forgetfulness can be caused by all sorts of things that have nothing to do with dementia, and many of them can be put right. Stress, low mood, anxiety, poor sleep, an infection (a urine infection can cause sudden confusion in older people), an underactive thyroid, a vitamin deficiency, hearing loss, or the side effects of some medicines can all affect memory and concentration. That is exactly why it is worth getting checked rather than worrying alone, because it may well turn out to be something simple and treatable.

When to see your GP

It is a good idea to see your GP if, over a period of time, you or those around you notice things like forgetting recent conversations or events, repeating yourself, struggling with familiar tasks, getting muddled about the time or about where you are, or finding it hard to come up with the right words. Please do not put it off out of fear. Whatever the cause, knowing is better than wondering, and your GP is there to help, not to judge.

Getting a diagnosis

Your GP will usually carry out some initial checks and, if needed, refer you to the Memory Assessment Service, the local NHS team in Derbyshire that looks into memory difficulties. Getting a clear answer can feel daunting, but a diagnosis opens the door to treatment, support, and the chance to plan ahead, and it means you do not have to face things on your own. Many people find it a relief simply to understand what is going on.

Living well with dementia

A diagnosis of dementia is a great deal to take in, but it is not the end of a good life. Many people live well for years, especially with the right support, by staying active and connected, keeping up the things they enjoy, sticking to familiar routines, and using a few simple aids. People with dementia are very much still themselves, with the same feelings and the same need for company and kindness as anyone else.

Help close to home

Across Derbyshire, the Derbyshire Dementia Information and Advice Service, run by the Alzheimer's Society, is there for anyone affected by memory loss or dementia, and for their families and carers too. You do not need a diagnosis, or to be a certain age, to get their help, so you can contact them simply because you are worried about your memory.

They offer one-to-one support, practical advice on everything from benefits to planning ahead, and friendly local groups such as memory cafes and Singing for the Brain sessions. You can reach them on 01332 208845, or by email at derbyshire@alzheimers.org.uk.

Support for family and carers

Caring for someone with dementia can be one of the most loving, but most exhausting, things you will ever do, and your own wellbeing matters just as much as theirs. You are entitled to a carer's assessment, and Derbyshire Carers Association offers practical and emotional support, advice and a friendly ear. For specialist help, Dementia UK's Admiral Nurses give free, expert advice to families on their helpline, 0800 888 6678.

Planning ahead

If you or a loved one has been diagnosed, there are some things that are far easier to sort out sooner rather than later, while the person is well able to make their own decisions. These include setting up a Lasting Power of Attorney, so that someone trusted can help with money and health decisions in future, recording wishes about care, and making or updating a will. The Alzheimer's Society service and your GP can help you make a start. One practical point worth knowing is that a dementia diagnosis must be reported to the DVLA if the person drives, as that is a legal requirement.

Help with money and bills

There is financial help well worth claiming. Attendance Allowance, which is not means-tested, can help if dementia means someone needs help or supervision during the day or night. Getting it can also lead to a significant reduction in Council Tax through the severe mental impairment disregard, sometimes wiping the bill out altogether. It is well worth a free benefits check, and we have separate guides on Attendance Allowance, help with your Council Tax, and getting a benefits check.

Staying safe at home

A few simple aids can help someone with dementia stay safely at home for longer, such as a personal alarm, automatic medication reminders, key safes and sensors. Our guide on staying independent at home has more, and the council's care and sensory teams can advise on what might help.

Where to get help, locally and nationally

Close to home, across Chesterfield, Bolsover and North East Derbyshire:

• Your GP, as the first step if you are worried about your memory.
• The Derbyshire Dementia Information and Advice Service, run by the Alzheimer's Society, on 01332 208845, for support whether or not there is a diagnosis.
• Call Derbyshire, on 01629 533190, for a care needs assessment.
• Derbyshire Carers Association, for support if you care for someone.

Across the country:

• The Alzheimer's Society, on its support line 0333 150 3456, and at alzheimers.org.uk.
• Dementia UK's Admiral Nurse Dementia Helpline, on 0800 888 6678.
• Citizens Advice, for a free benefits check. For Bolsover and North East Derbyshire, call 0808 250 5702.
• Independent Age, on 0800 319 6789, for free advice and factsheets.